“Sequences of a typical marriage ceremony in bangladesh”

The marriage ceremony is the top most pompous & interesting occasions among the entire social Ceremonies in all over the world.It is one of the main festival for poor, middle and upper class people. People of all classes do not hesitate to spend on  this occasion  as per their capabilities.Bengali people are  more liberal to spend  for this colorful ceremony.In Bangladesh,few days back the bride did not have any role to choose her husband.The father of bride used to take all types of decisions on behalf of the bride  related to the marriage ceremony.He took decisions- starting from the selecting of the groom  down to the fixing dates and all other aspects.At present, the situation has been changed and this society is no longer a male dominated society.Due to  the advancement of society,improved rate of literacy and for the development of self consciousness,the dignity of women has raised therefore  the personal choice of bride regarding marriage is given immense importance.

A wedding is considered the most important event of a Bangladeshi girl’s life and an integral part of the local culture.

A Bangladeshi bride

“Conclusion”

The auspicious occasions of marriage ceremony come to the end with some gracious formalities. In each and every bodies life marriage brings a change, beginning a new chapter. The marriage ceremonies of different countries have its own integral characteristics .Everybody  celebrates  this ceremony to its maximum so that it can be kept in their mind throughout the life. The  Bengali marriage ceremony will get more credits being more traditional, enjoyable and colorful than that of other nation.

My special thanks and gratitude to Mr.Geoffery Hiller.without his inspiration this blog wouldn’t be completed.

I also thanks to Nazia and Nazmul for their beautiful wedding pictures without which this wouldnot be a complete one.

“”Bou-bhat (Reception)”"

A ceremony is arranged at bridegroom’s house to introduce bride with all the relatives of bridegroom. This is term as Bou-bhat,all the relatives of both bride &grooms are invited in this ceremony. Through, this occasion bride is introduced with new members at her father-in-law house.There are huge arrangement of entertainment which encludes delecious food,songs.dance,etc.

Bou-Bhat

“”"Mehndi”"”

The ceremonies term as mehndi is celebrated previous day of the wedding date.Here bride & groom are given mehndi on their hands by their friends and close relatives.They draw various design with the help of mehndi so that bride & groom look different and gorgeous than others. bride and the groom celebrate the mehndi ceremony on the same day, but they celebrate in their own houses.

Mehndi

“Gaye Halud”

Gaye Holud Stage

Gaye Halud is the most interesting stage among all of the stages of marriage ceremony. It is arranged at the house of bride & bridegroom. The boys and girls of the house of bridegroom go to the house of bride with different items, which is necessary for this festival such as Sharee,Turmeric paste, Mehendi paste, sweet and flowers.The bride with flowers,ornaments wears the yallow colour saree and sits on a stage.Then all the visitors come before the bride on the stage and besmear turmeric paste on the face and the hand of the bride.The stage is decorated with orange colour flowers,the young boys and girls dance,sing and distribute sweets to each other.They enjoy to the extreme level.

Turmeric paste, Mehendi paste, sweet etc

Brides parents giving turmeric paste

Mother-in-law giving turmeric paste

On the same way, the relatives of bride visit to the bridegroom’s house  to enjoy the same festival there.

The evening of that day,Mehedi festival is stared at the house of bride & bridegroom separately. The girls draw the beautiful design on hands of the bride & another girls. Sometimes they play songs of this festival. At the house of bridegroom, the same occasion is also arranged.

“Phul Shajya (bed of flowers)”

Phul Shajya (bed of flowers)

It also called Bashar Sajja

Bashar Sajja

After all the formalities of the marriage, Bridegroom and bride are sent together to a well decorated room. In that room bridegroom & bride meet closely each other for the first time. This is called
“Bashor Sajja” .The younger girl & boys decorate that room with natural flowers,colourful paper & perfume.They spread the leafs of roses on their bed.Normally the bride entired that room and sits on the bed of roses and she keeps waiting for her bridegrooms.After certain times groom entiers into the room and close the door and come to his bride.Then they meet closely and love each other.On that night they remain awaken in the whole night.They make laugh,gossip and plan fot their future.They try to make this night the memorable one.From all other nights.

“How the wedding is arranged”

A traditional wedding is arranged by Ghotoks (matchmakers), who are generally friends or relatives of the couple. The matchmakers introduce both the family of bride and grooms and also assist to fix the amount of settlement (kabin).

Kabin

In Bengali Muslim marriages another settlement to make which is called “Mohr” or “Kabin” to be paid by the Groom to Bride which is a religious requirement in Muslim marriages. The amount of the settlement is set so as to avoid too many zeroes in the amount, such as 10001 rather than 10000; the final zeroes being said by some to signify bad luck.

“”BIYE (marriage)”"

Finally it comes “marriage” after all the program of a panchini,kabin and gaye holud. This festival is arranged at the house of bride. So the relatives of bridegroom arrange a journey to bride house to attend that ceremony.

Barjatra

This journey is called “Barjatra”. Before staring the journey, the bridegrrom is another festival ‘Doi Mangole’ is arranged at the bridegrooms house.Here one dish is prepeard for the borjatra party which is mixture curd with chira and sugar. Then it is given to bridegroom to eat.Before leaving the house bridegroom takes that food and step out for brides house.Guardians of bridegroom carries sharee, ornaments & other cosmetics items for bride. Normally, bride wears all those items which were being carried by the relatives of bridegrooms.

After the signing of the marriage register by both bride & grooms every invitees enjoy feast program. Normally polaw, Briani, Chickens roast, Sweet dish etc are the menu of the feast. But the feast program depends on financial condition.finally bridegroom comes and sit beside the bride at bridal stage.

Bridal Stage

Bride & Bridgroom

Mala Badal

Then they look towards each other eyes and  exchange flower made mala.This part is called “ Shah Nazar” and it is conducted by the sister & sister-in-law of bride.After the eye contact the bridegroom by asked some one to express his feelings about the bride.

Bride farewell

After that, it is the time of departure.the gurdian of bride hands over the bride to the gurdian of bridegroom.They gives all responsibilities of bride to the bridegroom and wish there beautiful life.This moment is the saddest part of the whole ceremony.Bride parents and all close relatives fall down into tears and bit farewell to their daughter.

“Panchini (engagement)”

It is the first stage of pompous Bengali marriage ceremony. It is the function where Ring is given to bride by the guardian of bridegroom. The guardian of bridegroom comes to the house of bride with engagement ring, share, sweet etc.

Panchini (Engagement)

Normally the father or mother of bridegroom gives ring to bride. At the absence of parents, any one senior relative of bridegroom gives the ring to bride. On this occasion, the date of marries and the amounts of ‘Denmahor’ are fixed by the discussion of the guardians of two families. As per the islamic rule ‘Denmahor’ is very important matter.The Bridegroom cannot touch his bride without paying the denmahor to the bride.The amount of ‘ Denmohar’ depends on the financial ability of the bridegroom.

The half of this amount is paid at the time of marriage. It can be paid by gold or cash. Any asset or cash will pay the rest of the amount in future. The total of ‘Denmohar’ mast be paid before the death of bridegroom. Hence, bride can excuse her husband. It is Islamic System.

“Some interesting stages in Bengali marriage ceremony”

In every Bangladeshi’s life  wedding define something very special.It is all about color, food and family gatherings. Few years ago,people used to invite the whole town or village to celebrate the wedding ceremoney for seven days atleast.Now-a-days it has changed. Now there are some interesting stages in Bengali marriage ceremony. Such as:

Arranging_the_wedding
Gaye Holud (pre-marriage)
Shuvo Bibaho (the marriage)
Bashar Shajja (bed of roses)
Bou Bhaat (reception after the marriage) etc.
Ofcource,some other functions are also arranged depending on the financial ability of the family.

This practice takes its toll over the middle class people of the country who want to provide their offspring a memorable wedding yet struggle with the expenses of it.

Bride covered in gold.